#accountability is good when it works but like. i dont have a real system of people checking in on this so theres that voice in my head sayin

[defnotciara]

The ultimate shifting guide! (Tips, methods, etc)

Before I actually get into this i just wanted to clarify that everyone’s shifting journey is different and just because something worked for one person doesn’t mean it will work for you too! In order to shifting you kinda have to experiment a bit from what i’ve learnt and done so far.

Keywords:

DR: Desired Reality

CR: Current Reality

WR: Waiting Room

Also, before we start i’m just going to go over what shifting is, if you dont want to read this part feel free to skip this is mainly for the people who are newer to shifting and are looking for a basic rundown before getting into everything else!

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1 • YOU DONT NEED TO USE METHODS OR SCRIPTS!! The methods are there to guide the process for those who The scripts allow you to imagine, organize your DR, and fuel your desire to go to your dr. Another thing is that if you forget to script something chances are is taht your subconscious already remembered it so you don’t really need to worry much about it!

2 • Symptoms are not actually you shifting! It’s actually just your body falling asleep. Although some things like feeling your surroundings change, hearing voices from ur dr, etc do actually count as shifting? (In my opinion) But since symptoms don’t really let you know what you have shifted who’s to say that you haven’t?? Gaslight yourself into believing you have shifted and during this ask like rhetorical questions like “How is shifting so easy for me?” “Why am i so good at shifting” “How am i already in my DR” Doing this will help you distract your brain from that annoying voice thats like “Thats not true, you haven’t shifted yet?”

3 • Shifting is what you believe it is. If you believe that shifting is hard, or easy, or that you can’t shift then you won’t shift 🤷‍♀️ Why do you think people who were introduced to shifting by someone who they personally know shift pretty easily? Thats because they trust in what that person is saying and trusting that shifting is easy and real and that they can shift too if they tried, they aren’t “Lucky” its just that they don’t use apps like tiktok, tumblr, etc; that over complicate shifting because shifting is as easy as setting a intent to wake up in your DR.

4 • “Can i script xyz/Or are there any limitations” You can literally do anything and when i mean anything i mean anything, if you want to be able to fly go fly ! Oh, you want to shift to a cartoon/anime go shift to it. Literally nothing is stopping you from doing whatever you want its called a desired reality for a reason. But, please take into account that even if it is a different reality that doesn’t mean you can’t being back trauma with you to your CR also take into consideration that the people in your DR are just as real and human as you are so keep that in mind when scripting!

4 • “What is a clone?” A clone is basically just you in your CR once you’ve shifted (Unless your asleep while shifting clones shouldn’t really be a problem) Your clone will act exactly like you do and if your worried about them doing something you wouldn’t do you are able to dictate their activities/what they do while you are out partying with your S/O.

5 • “What can i do to make shifting easier?” There are many different resources for you to use on your shifting journey like mind reprogramming I personally recommend listening to “Reprogramming through habits|| Video guide by shifting with reya” (I will link at the very bottom of this post if you are interested!) This video includes a 4 day (Maybe more depending on the person) Mind reprogramming method that allows you to alter your beliefs on shifting, another thing you can try is Gateway tapes, these tapes are made by the Monroe Institution/CIA these tapes use a training system that uses meditation like techniques combined with sound technology to alter the states of consciousness (If you are interested in learning more i can maybe make a post about it another day) You are required to pay for them but some people upload them to youtube, google docs etc; for the people who can’t since they are quite expensive! (I HAVE A GOOGLE DRIVE OF THE SOME OF THEM SO I CAN GIVE YOU THE LINK IF YOU WANTT), there are many more ways to make shifting easier but these are just to name a few.

6 • Meditation, Meditation is so easy and super efficient in helping you shift! If you just take 5 or more minutes out of your day to meditate for a month or two you will definitely notice the difference it makes, not only does it destress you but its helpful for when you are trying to relax during a shifting attempt or just shift while doing it.

7 • Affirmations, affirmations are so incredibly powerful with shifting and manifestation because it’s literally so easy and doesn’t even take long to do! Affirmations are basically just words that you say/think to yourself that help you shift/manifest some affirmations that I personally use during shifting attempts or just during random times of the day just to remind myself that shifting is so easy. “Why is shifting so easy for me?” “I am shifting” “Every breath i take gets me closer to shifting” “Every “failed” shifting attempt just makes me get closer to shifting” Etc, etc, etc.

And thats it for now should i make another part? I feel like this is to short but i really wanted to post it because i felt bad for promising to post it yesterday but i ended up falling asleep while typingg 😭 I hope yall can forgive me loll, but anyways lmk what you think about this and pleasee let me know if theres any misinformation in this so i can fix it!!

Thanks for reading this, i hope you all have an amazing day/nightt !!

[the-s1lly-corner]

Could you possibly write about slenderman's ghost s/o trying to make the mansion festive for Halloween bc they're really excited for the holiday and never experienced it before? They have a list and everything as soon as they learn about the custom-

For instance, every room is decked out in decor totally not stolen, they make loads of themed treats, and try to engage the him and the proxies into doing multiple festive activities as well?

-slender anon <3 (sorry if this is too much exposition, tysm for all the cool writing)

Celebrating Halloween w/ Slenderman!

so so sorry for taking a a bit to get to this !! I meant to get this out tomorrow but I got distracted </3 still torn on if i want the mansion to exist in my au but for all intents and purposes we'll say it does for this >:) i might make the mansion like, some abandoned creepy haunted house in universe, like the house from IT or Nightmare on Elm Street (i actually... dont remember if it gets abandoned or not in the later movies, its been a while since i watched the series..) or something something yeah i think ill go with that for the mansion anyways enough rambling

Cue curious head tilts and questions from slenderman, he knows OF Halloween but he doesnt know all the ins and outs and intricacies when it comes to how its celebrated; best he knows is costumes and candy

initially watches you try to hang up all the decorations by yourself but eventually steps in to give you a hand

probably consults in you what basic Halloween traditions are, and probably also tries to ask the proxies if they know anything about it

i think outside of toby, the proxies don't really. remember much of their lives before becoming proxies, but that's because I'm basing my take on them off of the original MH where like, there's brain fog and the proxy/person are internally separate, but that's where inspiration from the original stuff ends; merging two fandoms together is. hard when the canon and fanon are so different

anyways

but also i never really like the creepypasta interpretation of masky and hoodie, at least from when i was in the fandom years back where they were shy and soft, but thats likely changed now- admittedly i dont interact with the fandom outside of creating

im rambling again, but i think masky and hoodie would also be a little lost but ready to do whatever they're told to do in regards to helping deck out the mansion

good news is that the mansion already looks like a spooky haunted house! especially on the outside since it's not as well kept as the inside

the inside is like what comes to mind when someone says old ass house; creaky wooden floors, shitty heating system, crawl spaces and compartments, that sort of thing. old enough that it would definitely have mold and rot, and be falling apart, if slenderman didnt come and keep it in tact

again, it already looks spooky enough as is, but decorations can really tie in the look

fake cobwebs, skeletons, spiders

oh those are real spiders

the mansion probably has spiders, slenderman cant do anything about the spiders sorry

okay anyways

treats! totally not stolen from some store by a teleporting entity that naturally distorts electronics! definitely not

he would make them with you, i think

i sometimes think about how slenderman would probably like calm and quiet activities, domestic ones included, so i think this is something he would actually end up loving especially with you around

learns he hates working with melted marshmallow, that shit is not banned from the mansion as well as marshmallow creme

he even gets those cute little halloween themed goodie bags so you can give them out

unfortunately he's going to have to pass, on account that he can't really eat any non-human meat food, but rest assured if he could safely eat your treats he would

Toby would be fucking that shit up, especially if you make those popcorn ball things. i feel like toby would love those. masky to me seems like a butterscotch haystack enjoyer to me (based), while hoodie fucks up those chocolate dipped pretzels, you know the ones that get decorated to look like mummies? those. he demolishes those (also based)

i kinda miss the popcorn balls tbh i havent had those in years but they were good from what i remember- i think i might make some this evening

moving on once more

if there's any extras slenderman may offer to take you around to give them to others

im still deciding character dynamics and relationships and who knows who in this funky au, but i feel like slenderman knows at least a handful of the other character. at least on a first name basis

so thats fun! you also get to share the joy with characters such as splendor and trender, and perhaps even jeff. i hc that eyeless jack and slender are both in the same forest but not like. buddy buddy. but he can get goodies too. ignore the fact jack is in the same boat as slender in terms of what he can and cant eat- he appreciates the gesture

now activities! i gotta admit i never really did halloween stuff outside of trick or treating; so im a little stumped on ideas

theres the obvious, pumpkin carving (the pumpkin insides get used to make more treats!), apple bobbing, and a few others

while not really a halloween game, you guys probably play a few games in the woods

thats

wait no thats terrifying, do not play hide and seek/tag with them in the woods regardless of if its night time and regardless of if youre a ghost, that shit actually sounds terrifying esp since i think slenderman and hoodie would get WAY TOO competitive

oh scary stories

definately

you insist on summoning ghosts and demons to fit the vibe

" but Dear, you're a gho-" "hush"

you guys accidentally summon one of the ghost creepypastas or something/j

you guys accidentally summon zalgo and halloween gets cancelled'j

idk if this is just a me thing but whenever me and my friends sit down to read creepypasta stories we get derailed and somehow end up reading fanfics and acting them out but i can see this happening as well; though this one also isnt a halloween exclusive activity

overall its a learning experience for most of you guys, and slenderman is totally up to humoring you again next year!

oh oh oh halloween costumes, how could i forget?

good luck trying to find something for slenderman, even if he could fit in anything he probably wouldnt dress up no matter how you try to word it

actually now that i think of it, do you think his suit is just part of his body? like ive seen loads of interpretations where it is; the shitty slenderman movie included. like is it a removeable suit? is it something that looks like a suit but its part of him? is it like a scp 049 situation where it is a suit but its attached to him?

im not getting into that today

masky and toby both dress up as classic slasher icons

hoodie probably would too but i got flashed with a vision of him dressed as pumpkin so im rolling with it

i think thats about everything! i hope you like this! this ended up way longer than i thought it would be but i fully blame that on me still being in my ramble mindset </3 ive been cooking up some major hcs for my au/interpretation as well as smaller stuff so my brain just wants to dump it TToTT

anyways

runs off to go draw spooky stuff (cough cough creepypastas dressed up in costumes)

[trenchgardens-ooc-ooc-ooc-ooc]

god ok so you guys know how we're Ragebound? specidically Knight of Rage? (still attached to maid of rage(stimmy name, cute outfit) but i genuinely think knight fits more)

and you know how my short term and working memories are SHOT to hell?

[externalization, REALLY long]

as a manifestation - er. byproduct i guess of ky alxithymedisf fuck- Alixithymia . well thats closer at least...- anyway- its super hard for me to think if i Dont write things down, its why talking verbally is so hard for me.

its like other peoples working memory is a meandering stream where they see their thoughts slowly drifting by before leaving their view some ways down the flow, and mjne is a waterfall. so if i dont. put my words on paper as i think them, ill have forgotten what i was saying, maybe During the thought that i am speaking.

this applies to my inner life as well. not in a system way speciricqlly but not Not in a system way.

like. my emotional state is so hidden in the fog of mist around the rapid water, so obfuscated by the coping mechanism of dissociation that i adapted so that i could Survive, anf the mist of my damaged brain, that i just. kind of. dont remember how i feel if i dont specirically seek it out and write it down.

and even then my thoughts are very baseline.

its why i talk so much about my inner experiences. if i dont, i wont know them. not for long.

its like i have a 2dimensional view of my 3d emotions. like im a Flatlander from Flatland seeing a person Bisect my reality, but i cant tbink in video, only pictures.

if i start writing down the pictures i see, tbe emotional states i experience moment to moment before they pass the event horizon and their existanxe, to me, is enshrouded by fog, then. i start recording thoae crossections, and i can start to peice together an image of my 3d thoughts and feelings, with my 2d eyes.

one of my few saving graces is that i am, aparently, really smart, thoughtful, whatever. i scored a 156 on IQ a long time ago, and, if you account for yhe problems caused by my memory, i still have that score. IQ is a Very limited picture of intelligence, but it is a Real form of it. this and i aparently think much more critically than my fellow students at the very least.

i was what youd call a gifted kid burnout. i could skate by on little to no effort in lower school, and i never learned a self discipline because of it. im super super fucking bad at resisting my own needs. my willpower regarding things is weak, i think its cause of my fatigue. my Baselime is their exhausted. their peak. and everyone is less able to resist their urge to aleep when they have the flu.

because of all of this whatever, i still, aparently, am very good at . well. getting good grades on tests that i forgot about and didnt study for.

anyway...

isnt it kind of. really Rage aspect pilled that I am . so predisposed against . like. being an internal, private person?

like. if i dont say what im thinking, i will forget it, isnt that Really Rage? to like Be translucent in my thoughts reasoning and actions in ways other people just. arent [predisposed | forced] to be?

thats not saying i Cant lie. i can. we actually. used to be a compulsive liar, and its only through a lot of therapy that ive gotten this much better.

its just something neat...

[dustteller]

What are some fantasy books you consider represent colonialism wrong/from a very white or colonial pov?

Sorry you dont have to tell which books etc you were vagueing im just genuinely interested !

Hmm, this is tough bc for the last three years most of the books I've consumed have been for college, and most of the stuff on Imperialism has been nonfiction for my PoliSci classes. When I wrote that post, I wasn't just thinking about books, but about media as a whole.

Now, I want to make it very clear that I don't necessarily consider any of the following works ✨️Problematic✨️ because they fail to capture certain elements of Imperialism/Colonialism (I'm using the terms interchangeably bc they're similar enough that in fiction they tend to get glomped together, but they're actually technically two different things but also It Does Not Matter). I don't consider a white person not completely grasping colonialism a moral failing. My issue is less moral and more of annoyance at how so often we hold up white people as the standards for writing about something *they didn't even write about well*.

And with that point made: Avatar. It's Avatar. Not the blue people movie (that one's awful, but I don't think I need to explain why), it's AtLA. Listen, I really do love AtLA. It's a great show that does an excellent job at demonstrating that just because something is targeted to children it doesnt have to be dumbed down and can still tell an incredible story. I also think that the showriters did a lot of research in order to write the Fire Nation and it's imperialist actions. It touches on a lot of elements of imperialism that a lot of other media fails to capture. It's a good show, it really is.

But it is still a children's show written by a bunch of white people. It annoys me to no end that people hold it up as The Pinnacle Of Anti-Imperialist-Colinialist-Racist Writing, the Golden Standard To Which All Things Must Be Held, when really its Baby's First Look Into Politics. It was WRITTEN to be Baby's First Look Into Politics. Half of its target audience is still literally munching on crayons.

I also don't like how it handles a lot of things. A lot of people have brought up Hama, but I also think that it doesn't do a great job with the Jet stuff. Again, its a children's show. Its HAS to show the right socially accepted moral lesson that Pacifism Best and Killing Bad. If you study real life imperialism tho, extremism is its natural consequence. Almost always, when there is a successful revolution, it IS led by extremist groups, because those are the people most willing to sacrifice themselves! I think AtLA does a good job at portraying Jet and Hama as sympathetic, but it also goes very hard on the Still Bad angle. The thing is, Aang's my way or the highway deal only really works because he's the Universes Specialest Boy Avatar. I don't think there's much of an aknowledgement that there really isn't much that people like Jet CAN do if its not turn to more extremist measures. I know a lot of white people are very pro-pacifism and love clean revolutions, but thats just. Not how it works.

If you're part of a colony, the sad reality is that you Will continue being a colony unless you can find a way to perform a mass upheaval of the existing system. And, sadly, the only viable way to do this for a lot of the colonized is violence. And violence born in anger is not known for being Clean and Pretty and Morally Just. I don't like the trend of holding colonized peoples solely accountable for their actions in response to the incredible colonial violences of an empire. I get to murder you indiscriminately, but you can't dare to murder in my general direction back, or you're just as bad as I am. Actions don't exist in a vacuum.

I think this is where AtLA's view on politics is weakest, because I feel it fails at providing a viable alternate measure to the actions of Hama and Jet. Aang, and by extension team avatar, has a privilege that they don't have access to. They're just mean to sit there and wait to be saved, I guess.

Also we spent three seasons seeing the after effect of a single shitty Emperor that the Avatar trusted deciding he was gonna be shitty and starting a hundred years of imperialism like some evil aureliano buendia, only to at the end immediately put Zuko on the throne? Maybe Zuko is a good emperor, but can you guarantee his kids will be? His grandkids? What happens if he gets murdered, Azula gets to take the throne and starts Being Evil again? The system remains unchanged, and it can still be abused in the exact same ways.

I bring up AtLA because I think it demonstrates these two aspects that I think make a lot of Imperialism According to White People (IAtWP) narratives fall flat to me. I use AtLa as an example precisely because its a good story, because I want to demonstrate that getting some stuff right and putting in effort and ending up with a good product doesn't mean that a work WON'T have these issues.

Generally, IAtWP narratives will have a very morally pure view on rebellions and demand higher levels of moral righteousness from the colonized than it does from the oppressed, or they will be overly dark and gritty and "realistic" and will refuse to interact with the morality of the setting, being an Everyone Bad, Actually narrative. Secondly, IAtWP stories tend to see Imperialism as a Good People/Bad People issue. Usually they will aknowledge the failures of an imperialist system, but they will still uphold the "superiority" of the imperialist system by treating it as the only way to govern, ergo revealing that they cannot conceive of alternate methods of rule.

On that second point, white american/european people who live in an imperial system never seem to grasp the idea that those poor suffering colonized masses are also capable of the concept of innovation. I think where a lot of white leftists fail when interacting with anti-imperialist rhetoric is that they limit themselves to the anti-imperialism. They can recognize that imperialism is bad, but they can't concieve of the colonized as anything BUT colonized. Even while free, they are Free From Imperialism. The truth is, we have entire fields of scholarship discussing the intricacies of how to navigate freedom. There's internal debates in politics and public and academia about how freedom will work for us. I'm going to talk now from a puertorrican/latin american perspective, since that's my field of specialization. Freedom is not an abstract concept to us. We have spent decades examining the fabric of our society to find alternatives to the current system. Here in Puerto Rico, the modern independence conversation dates back all the way to the 19th century. For most of that time, Puerto Rico and Cuba acted in conjunction when it came to academic matters. Until Castro, you did not discuss Puertorrican independence without Cuba also being talked about, because there was a very strong solidarity between the two nations. This is, of course, without mentioning the work that Haiti and the Dominical Republic also shared with us, as well as a wider Latin America. If you read W.E.B Du Bois' essays on imperialism, he does not focus only on Africa, but he also frequently talks about Latin America and Asia and MENA and even some European nations/ethinicities/racial groups when discussing unity. If we look at Political Science, the Dependence Theory, which is one of the frameworks through which imperialism and colonialism are understood today, was pioneered by Latin American and South/South East Asian academics in conjunction, academics of dozens and dozens of countries that worked and interacted and argued with each other to create a field of scholarship that directly countered the trends in white academia of the time. Even more colloquially, I do not know a single Puertorican that knows the basics of the history of the Philippines that does not solidarize with them and consider them our siblings in the same way that we think of the rest of Latin America. The Global South is not composed of a bunch of meek little victim nations, isolated within our own colonial bubbled, but of over a hundred countries that actively interact with each other's ideas.

I find white authors and creators often do not understand the level at which imperialism has effected the very way that we think about the world, or at the level to which we talk to each other about it. To them, we only exist within the context of interractions with our colonial powers. They often underestimate the level of solidarity in thought that has formed within nations BECAUSE of imperialism. And as a result, they always write overly simplistic resistance moments lead by vague ideologies and people that don't know what they're talking about. Theres a lot more to resistance than the resistance itself, there has to be a strong backbone of intellectual tradition to back it up.

I went off on a bit of a tangent there, but I still think it's important when discussing how white creators fail at portraying imperialism and colonialism. They fail by not being able to see it from the point of view of the colonized. I know I didn't fully answer the question, but I hope this makes sense and helps you understand the framework through which I judge a piece of media that interacts with the themes of Colonialsm and Imperialism. I just want to add here at the end, that this is just how I see it, and not an Objectively Correct Method Of Identification or anything. I know a lot of people that consider things differently, because we all have different frameworks which we use to view the issue. Its not a matter of being right or wrong, but a matter of how we all interact with the world differently. Now, please pray for me that I don't get murdered for this.

[jennilah]

Happy NYE! Every year I enjoy taking a moment to write a somewhat lengthy roundup of my year, good and bad. Its a moment for me to reflect and summarize & expand on things that in hindsight ended up being bigger moments than it felt at the time

like always, I dont want anyone to feel like you have to compare your successes to mine. I simply enjoy being an open book. I like reading other people's personal posts too ♥

This year was incredible for me. This was the year of taking back my life after covid took the last two years. Vaccinated & approaching things as safely as possible according to health guidelines, I was able to do things again, and boy what good things they were!

First off, this was the first full calendar year that I've spent in the new apartment. I swear, this accounts for at least a third of my happiness this year. I can't believe I've already lived here for over a year now, it feels like I just moved in yesterday, and yet I can't believe I dealt with my old apartment for as long as I did. Even thinking about how much that place sucked ass ruins my mood, no wonder my mental health was TANKING when I had to work from home there.

New apartment, new me. This place is incredible and I really feel like I can breathe and live how I want to. Working from home is actually nice instead of unbearable (I now work in a hybrid system, home for a few days and in-office for a few days, since I like aspects of both equally.)

First things first, right away in January I got my first VR headset and I absolutely love it to pieces. That opened up a whole new hobby for me, going into VR and exploring and making whole ass new friends in VRchat. I just think it's so fucking rad and I am so glad i bought the headset.

I then joined a new private art community (lmao that sounds so nefarious. I promise it isnt. I just get to have 1 secret, okay?) that has been so fun and really uplifted my mood at the start of the year, and it continues to be very fun! I am so glad I joined!!!

In fact, that very community helped a lot when it came to silencing my two-year-long streak of "Hell Brain", what I affectionately call the daily swirling anxious thoughts in my head that constantly echo when I dont have a special interest to occupy my daydreams. (Reminder: I am autistic! I am using the term in the autistic sense. By this point, i hadn't had a special interest/hyperfocus in years and I was having a really hard time silencing the Hell Brain on my own.)

It wasnt a perfect solution but it helped a lot, at least. It also drew me even closer to an already-close friend! bonding, yay! and I have met some really cool new people in that community too, who I really hope to keep connecting with!!

I also started to get real about my physical health, trying to eat healthier and exercise more.

Then, the summer of a lifetime began.

(First of all, I saw so many fucking movies. I love going to the movies, and I ate well this year!!! so many amazing films came out.)

I had my first salary negotiation with my bosses, and it went so well that they even asked the higher-ups for more money than I asked for. Because they were super cool, and I guess they wanted to make it very clear how much they appreciate me too. They have already made it extremely clear already how much they value my opinions and skillset, but translating that appreciation to $$ was certainly a bonus.

Then, my fucking god, Top Gun: Maverick finally came out and it has felt like a dream ever since. I couldn't believe- I still can't believe the reception it has gotten. My head is in the clouds. I'm floating. I'm every happy feeling, okay? I wonder if I will ever work on something like that again, that becomes such a worldwide phenomena like this. Completely utterly blown-away. I saw the movie 3 times in theaters myself, so I cant say I'm too shocked. I loved it too!!! I am so proud and just... amazed.

Shortly after, I got to fly home and see my family again for the first time since 2019. I made the most of it. It was one of the most fun trips home I ever had. It was even more fun that I got to see Top Gun with my parents, and I got to finally talk about it with people. It was also fun being home in the summer, hanging out outside, pool parties, BBQ... perfection. I love the vibes of summer nights.

I came back to Montreal refreshed, and then Con Season started up. Comic/Anime cons are probably my favorite events ever, and I was very sad not being able to go to any in the last two years. So it felt amazing to go back again (and buy a lotttt of nerdy stuff lmao)

I even went to a virtual convention in VR! lmao. it was super cool though!

I went to a Woodkid concert for the first time. It was incredible. It also felt like a dream. A+, would go again. Absolutely love his music.

My cousin visited me here in Montreal! That was so much fun. She's the closest thing to a sister to me, and we hadn't hung out just the two of us alone since we were kids. We went to Osheaga, my first music festival, and that whole experience was incredibly fun. It was great hanging out with her and catching up and everything, and I am so glad we got to go to the festival together.

She also helped me try weed for the first time LOL

She taught me how to properly use a bong. I have since switched to a dry-herb vaporizer, but indeed this is a new sort of hobby thing that has slotted into my life this year as well.

It has actually been quite lovely for tackling my aforementioned Hell Brain and anxiety, and also just for funsies.

Then, Prey came out, and I consider it another absolute win. Two movies I worked on that came out in the same year, that have both been critical and fan successes??!!! I am so, so happy. Will lightning strike like that again next year? We will just have to see!

Then there was a really fun street food festival that I thoroughly enjoyed for hours and hours on end. And Splatoon 3 came out, which I also enjoyed for hours and hours on end.

I definitely heavily mourned summer ending, because as you can tell, I was having a lot of fun cramming in events before the weather could turn.

But, like, that's kind of okay because I had no idea that my two year long streak of not having a special interest was about to change VERY suddenly lmao

This October I worked up the courage to really dive into slasher films, like I tried doing last year. (Last year I only really worked up the courage to watch the first Halloween, lol)

and, well, oops. you know what happened next.

(In case it isnt clear: they took hold of my brain and have been squeezing the juices out every day since october. meaning: I FINALLY have a new special interest! It's not something I choose, it's not something I plan, it just happens. and while sometimes fandom drama can wear me down, I am ultimately at my happiest when I have an active special interest. It gives me something to fill my brain, it gives me something that I am excited to draw, I have so much fun talking to other fans and enjoying memes, I discover new music, old music has new meaning again for new characters.... I missed this feeling so much. It feels so good it makes my chest feel tight, like I have butterflies in my stomach. I never know how long it will last, but it's not going away soon thats for sure)

So, I've obviously been having a lot of fun with my new blorbos and my new hobbies. Sometimes I smoke a little weed while rewatching Friday the 13th films, it's so much fun haha

Then, late November, I was accepted into the Visual Effects Society. That is more of a personal badge of honor. It's something I've been wanting to do since college, so as soon as I hit the required 5 years of industry experience I applied. I got in! I am excited to check out some of the more exclusive membership perks and events, but for the most part I am just proud of the achievement. I remember when 5 years felt like a lifetime to wait to apply.

I have been working on some more extremely cool things at work that I can't wait to share. Unfortunately I am waiting for a whopping three films to come out with a trailer. Cmon, hollywood!! You're killing me!!!!! I am so excited for those movies to come out, it's eating me alive not being able to say anything.

At least the Transformers: Rise of the Beasts trailer is out. That was a fun 'un. (But I want the trailers for the other things too!!!!)

And to round off the year, I just got back to MTL after finally spending Christmas at home with my family for the first time since 2019. That felt really special. I got to see everyone in the summer, yes, but our traditional family christmas get-together is what I look forward to every year and I was so glad to be able to do it again.

And there you have it. A much, much, much happier year than the last two.

My new year's resolution is to keep going with the physical health habits and to not fall off the wagon. It's also to keep living my life and go to more events to make next year feel just as full and eventful as this one was. Hang out with my friends more. Watch more of my silly little movies.

I'd also love to try to plan a trip outside of montreal, maybe to Toronto or something. I want to go on a real vacation trip alone again (or with friends.) I think that would be really fun!

[the-most-lamentable]

oh baby it's askin' time. 58, 66, 73, 90, and 21 for funs :)

Good evening, got booted out of my account for a moment but I am back and presently avoiding working on my writing projects ( will be working after this because my project list is ever expanding and I Still need do get done the ch3 illustration aaaaaa)

What's the last thing a fic made you Google when you were writing it?

Uhh the last thing was the bus system in the Tampa Bay area to Plant city for the immortal blade story. He starts off as a college student before having the worst night of his life brought to you by maybe a few too many Jaegerbombs.

In other research I tried an energy drink to see how it would feel as I have a scene in that Eugenia is an incredibly passive aggressive ghost wherein Keith absolutely crashes right before a show so Mickey gives him a monster thinking what's the worst that could happen? It goes poorly.

When have you felt the most confident in your writing?

Occasionally when I'm working on a project I'll have one of those moments where I realise Hey I just set up and paid off some very nice bits of theme and motif Ohoho it's all coming together, I've connected the dots. It's usually then.

Otherwise, my best writing? This line I wrote at 4 am.

"“Well- jokes on you! Both of my parents are dead!” Kevin sputtered.

Jeremy paused for a moment. Someone nearby shouted, “Her ghost is disappointed!” The crowd murmured in agreement."

How do you visualize scenes? Do you see it like a movie in your head, or do the words just flow?

So when I first start drafting a story I will be sitting there staring at a wall and there's a tiny film projector in my head playing out key beats, very visual but also vibe driven. The Great Imposter was very one to one in the scene beats and imagery I came up with initially like the imagery of the study sequence where he's stuck watching the action unable to act, or the whirring ambulance lights in sprinkling rain for Shock Blanket.

When I actually start writing it's a bit of both, my brain is multitasking to high hell. Those central images serve as a guide which is supported by insane amounts of character research and story structure. Most of the chapter illustrations are those initial clear images translated to drawing. I figure if the iconography is so effective to me, it should hopefully work on my audience too as a supplement to the vibes.

Do you notice your own voice in your writing?

Exceedingly so, yes. While I do make an effort to write within character logic and voice, it is still my writing. I have been told my usual voice is resemblant of a late 1800s British satirist, which seems fair (irony is the death of sincerity, my deepest struggle writing) however other inspirations include: Terry Pratchett, Lemony Snickett, Clue 1985, Tj Klune, David Sedaris, etc. All this to say always very dry humor, fast rhythm, and exceedingly long metaphors that are just a bit too specific.

Pick a writer to co-write a book and tell us what you'd write about.

Uhhhh I don't know but if you ever want to write a story together here's my pitches that I am coming up with on the spot (absolutely no pressure, i just dont know how else to answer this):

An AU of Homeward, Boumd where the Beans are all human, but still just as fucked up. Like Chris mentions offhand that his brother once threw him into a hole in their basement and left him for dead and everyone is just !!!??????

Celia Bean had an affair (outside of her one with Robert of course) which after an ancestry test brings James's number of suprise siblings up to 3. I just feel like him and Chris have similar vibes. Plus the chaos of introducing these two groups, particularly Cornley being perhaps a little too snooping over this (Jonathan and Dennis trying to casually hide behind a newspaper in a café only to be immediately clocked by Chris)

I've got an urban fantasy noir sorta story where magic is real and the whole thing kicks off with a spell backfiring and James's dad disappearing. Features things such as Keith and Mickey Co running a psychic shop (Keith runs the shop, Mickey is his glorified landlord, roommate, and self nominated HR department), Kevin getting up to shenanigans as a ghost, human glowsticks being abused for said glowing, werebear the ultimate bear, group sleepover (See: James and Mickey fall asleep and nobody has the heart to wake them). I believe I've mentioned this one before.

Anyways thanks for the ask, forgive me if it's A bit incomprehensible I am extremely sleep deprived from an absolute eager with my friend last night wherein we reorganized her bedroom and then discussed theology till 4 am. Best wishes, Jon, I don't know why I'm signing off like an email but it's there now

[stregoniconiconii]

about the siblingification of friendships, sorry im totally about to make myself a stand in for steve here, but im an only child, i have felt v lonely, and i have this one friend who calls her close girl friends sisters,, and i just do not feel it, i love her, and she is one of my best friends, but i just do Not see her as a sibling. and i think steve would be the same way tbh, also my most sibling adjacent feelings have been for ppl around 5 years younger than me (just like Steve & the kids/teens<3) but unlike steve, i haven't had any intense trauma to increase the chance for sibling bonding.

idk i just think that it would take More for steve to feel sibling feelings for ppl around his own age or older.

i also think that when u have been on ur own a lot it's like, sure u want ppl around, but also u need ur space bc u're used to it, idk maybe thats just me lol. i also have an intense need for personal space and like my things are my things and no one better fucking touch it, (i mean u can but if u pick stuff up I'll be annoyed, sorry) but also i Crave physical affection, and sorry i think this is just a "why i relate to steve/things i project onto steve" list, oops.

but like i guess what i probably wanted to say is, steve is, as far as we know, an only child, and while i think we all want him to have good family times, i don't think that equals sibling type relationships with everyone, and i think it would be interesting if ppl took into account how living as an only child would affect him, and not only in the "his house was always empty so now he is filling it w the sound of his friends 24/7" way. like maybe its just me, and im projecting or w/e but if I had friends over All the time, even my very best friends(except maybe my best best friend<3) i would go insane i think

sorry for talking so much about myself, it's just things that makes me think about steve, and this is the best i could manage to express it at the moment <3

this just made me think of something very funny which is that Steve and robin DO think each other as siblings but because they're both only children they just. genuinely have absolutely no idea how siblings are supposed to act around each other and so they do things together that would make ppl sing 'sweet home Alabama' or go 'wtf' if they were actual real life siblings. like it genuinely is all completely platonic but it's still a line that siblings wouldn't cross lol (idek what kind of things yall can figure it out)

HOWEVER two only children who are very used to doing their own thing suddenly being very clingy with each other?? oh I just know there were growing pains. like they want to be around each other but also being around someone means Being Around Someone. they definitely had to figure out a system to make sure they dont murder each other lol

but yeah I do see what you mean about Steve maybe either not needing or necessarily even wanting?? a sibling relationship with everyone he knows (that isn't somehow a parental figure either lmaoo) the type of person I could see filling that sort of role for Steve might be likeeee an almost queer older sibling? like someone he meets in his 20s who takes him under a gay wing. I know ppl like to imagine Eddie doing that for Steve but that's definitely not a sibling framework with them lol and also Eddie's dead </3 but I can see it happening when Steve and robin move out of hawkins and get involved with the gay scene. or maybe him getting into a line of work that ends up forming these close sibling like relationships. idk lol

idk mostly im fine with Steve being an older brother to dustin and max you know?

alsoooo it's totally fine to talk about urself <333 it helps inform ur head canons!! I mean im the absolute opposite of Steve I have siblings and I grew up so close with my cousins they’re practically also siblings, so hearing the only child side of living Does make a difference you know 

[arieswizard]

lmfao ill throw my hat into the ring. caveat that i am speaking about this from a filipino-australian perspective, and specifically about anti-asian racism (not too much classism discussion here bc its already such a long reblog lmao but i would like to return to it). it's important to note that racism against Black/Blak students is acutely and uniquely damaging wrt "gifted kid syndrome", bc Black/Blak students in particular are systematically denied access to safe education + educational resources, and are policed both in the classroom and out to a much higher degree.

it annoys me that so many discussions on being a gifted kid fail to account for the very real, material roles that racism play. i'm south-east asian and i was very good at school, but growing up it was impossible to have any sort of healthy relationship with my intelligence that wasn't also couched in racism. none of the achievements i accomplished in school were considered on their own merit. instead, they "just made sense" because i was asian, because as everyone knows all asian people are smart.

when i was in high school there was a set of year 12 subjects known as the "asian five" (the two most difficult maths subjects, biology, chemistry and physics), which presented this awful catch-22: if you chose those subjects, you did it because you were asian (because asian kids can't think for themselves or have genuine passions in stem that they want to pursue), and if you didn't choose those subjects, you weren't actually asian (something that many, MANY people of all races told me over the course of my high school career). so in response to this endless scrutiny, i and a lot of other high-performing asian kids entered this vicious cycle: want/need to do well for a range of societal and personal reasons -> push ourselves to do incredibly well (specifically in a way legible to our white peers and teachers) -> have it reaffirmed by our peers that "doing well" is just the baseline for an asian student (meanwhile our white peers' struggles are meant with infinitely more patience and understanding) -> re-dedicate ourselves to "doing well" because it has become part of our fundamental identity -> rinse and repeat.

the fallout of when many of these kids couldn't keep up with the crushing pressure was massive. for a lot of us, it wasn't just that we were awarded for doing well - it was that we had to do well at a minimum, otherwise we were denied being asian. (which isn't even getting into the fact that you were doomed either way - if you were too asian that was cause for ridicule, and if you weren't asian enough that was also cause for ridicule). and this was NORMALISED for fuck's sake, every goddamn white person i knew in high school thought they knew exactly what Being Asian was, and were liberal in how they mocked the asian kids that didn't fit into the "gifted asian" stereotype.

and what about all of the asian kids who couldn't afford tutoring or extra study time because they had to work? all of the asian kids who were neurodivergent/traumatised/mentally ill/disabled in other ways? all of the asian kids who just didn't care about school, all of the asian kids who were treated as disappointments and failures and fair game for mockery, because they didn't reach the impossible fucking heights set by their white supremacist education systems??? well they were kicked to the goddamn kerb. just as every non-white student was if they failed, if they didnt apply themselves enough, if they didnt focus in class.

so yeah dont forget that non-white kids have it infinitely harder than their white peers. they have higher standards to meet, are under more intense pressures, have more systemic barriers to their happiness and success, and have much, MUCH more complicated relationships with being "gifted".

people misunderstand what ‘gifted kid’ actually means but it’s ok it’s fine it’s cool it’s good

[modpoppy]

gonna actually vent about it

its just so hard to describe the feeling of being a corelet post-system collapse. like, i only just found out that theres an explanation for what i am when ive basically been telling myself i must not have counted as a real system since its been years of silence

like first and foremost, i cant.... dissociate anymore? not the way i used to, not in a recognizable way, i think it still happens sometimes, it just feels different and wild and hard to pin down. i also think maladaptive daydreaming has taken up so much of my consciousness im barely aware of anything half the time. but i used to constantly trigger it for myself (mostly because everything just. fucking sucked) and it was a process and it was a way to blip through everything, and now im just... always here, always hearing and seeing and feeling and thinking and thats SO fucking scary???? imagine if you remained aware and conscious every time you slept, even when you didnt dream, you just have to sit there and try not to let your thoughts wander too much. i think its bc i dont have anywhere to go? theres just no SPACE right now, i was able to simply leave consciousness and wait it out as a last resort before, now it feels like im glued straight to the world

i dont know how to express the inherent wrong feeling of always having had a chorus to bitch about things with and suddenly being alone. i think especially since i dont have any friends right now it feels a bit worse, i am literally only ever posting nonsense on here or talking to my sibling (who is at best somewhat insufferable). i cant really comprehend how someone could prefer this, honestly, to each their own but we were an actual dumpster fire before and id still go back to that instead because wed have the chance to TALK

and on that, i loathe the person that came before me and the way things used to work. i have so many memories of the good we shared, the people i miss and the fun interactions, but i also know that we ran this ship basically as toxicly as you can imagine, everything that could have been done wrong it did. this wasnt even our first, or second, or probably third collapse, but i think this ones lasted so much because we got into INCREDIBLY bad places in the last stretch. we were practically non-functional save for the overworked host, who in turn took it out on everyone else for being disruptive and dangerous and picked favorites and broke promises.

so, it sucks knowing im ostensibly based on them, built out of their brain. it sucks that ill be forever tied to the person they were and i cant really say we arent the same. it sucks that ive been saddled with their life choices and if i think too hard about it i dont know where what they decided we want ends and where whatever i am begins. i dont even know if i really am interested in accounting or if thats a residue.

but yeah so im over here like. i dont feel valid talking about system things. i feel deceptive not talking about system things. i want to reminisce but i dont want to talk about the old system. i want to talk about system things but i feel like a poser or something. in theory i know its my business and i dont need to prove anything to anyone but in practice well

evidence is everything in the court of peers

i miss them and i hate them and i accept the existence of anyone now and future and it scares me, that i may stay alone forever, and that i may never know if or how we couldve worked out our differences and settled into a life we could all live. maybe one day. i dont know how or if it can be sooner. i dont know what ill do until then.

[gibbearish]

oh my god id seen people dunking on this already but hadnt bothered to read the article, i finally have and now im going insane and had to scream about it so. if anyone wants the article highlights plus my commentary lol

"When I’ve told people this story, most of them say the same thing: You don’t seem like the type of person this would happen to. What they mean is that I’m not senile, or hysterical, or a rube ... (mentions study about scam victims being younger im skipping) ... Another study found that well-educated people or those with good jobs were just as vulnerable to scams as everyone else. Still, how could I have been such easy prey? Scam victims tend to be single, lonely, and economically insecure with low financial literacy. I am none of those things. I’m closer to the opposite." immediate eye rolling

"At about 12:30 p.m., my phone buzzed. The caller ID said it was Amazon. I answered. A polite woman with a vague accent told me she was calling from Amazon customer service to check some unusual activity on my account ... (skipping details abt her checking her order history) ... The woman, who said her name was Krista, told me the purchases had been made under my business account. “I don’t have a business account,��� I said. “Hmm,” she said. “Our system shows that you have two.” Krista and I concurred that I was the victim of identity theft, and she said she would flag the fraudulent accounts and freeze their activity." ok first obviously Dont Trust Caller ID but second does amazon have some sort of business account im not aware of that this could be referring to or did this woman genuinely think the AMAZON LADY would be able to FREEZE BUSINESS BANKING ACCOUNTS FOR HER??

"Then Krista explained that Amazon had been having a lot of problems with identity theft and false accounts lately. It had become so pervasive that the company was working with a liaison at the Federal Trade Commission and was referring defrauded customers to him. Could she connect me? "Um, sure?" I said. Krista transferred the call to a man who identified himself as Calvin Mitchell. He said he was an investigator with the FTC, gave me his badge number, and had me write down his direct phone line in case I needed to contact him again. He also told me our call was being recorded. He asked me to verify the spelling of my name. Then he read me the last four digits of my Social Security number, my home address, and my date of birth to confirm that they were correct. The fact that he had my Social Security number threw me. I was getting nervous." ok like i get being spooked by that but you can't say "had my social security number" if he only had the last four. like i know that you can still do some fraud with just that much but like. you didn't even /ask/ him to confirm the first 5? as far as i can tell this is the only time she mentions someone reading off her ssn like. ?????

"He told me that 22 bank accounts, nine vehicles, and four properties were registered to my name. The bank accounts had wired more than $3 million overseas, mostly to Jamaica and Iraq. Did I know anything about this? “No,” I said. Did I know someone named Stella Suk-Yee Kwong? “I don’t think so,” I said. He texted me a photo of her ID, which he claimed had been found in a car rented under my name that was abandoned on the southern border of Texas with blood and drugs in the trunk. A home in New Mexico affiliated with the car rental had subsequently been raided, he added, and authorities found more drugs, cash, and bank statements registered to my name and Social Security number. He texted me a drug-bust photo of bags of pills and money stacked on a table. He told me that there were warrants out for my arrest in Maryland and Texas and that I was being charged with cybercrimes, money laundering, and drug trafficking." oh well if he texted you photos i guess thats fine then. HELLO? DO YOU THINK THE REAL FTC WOULD JUST TEXT YOU THEIR CLASSIFIED EVIDENCE IF THERE WAS A WARRANT OUT FOR YOUR ARREST? DO YOU THINK. THEY WOULD WARN YOU OVER THE PHONE. SO YOU WOULD HAVE TIME TO RUN AND HIDE. IF THEY THOUGHT YOU WERE PART OF A DRUG TRAFFICKING RING. also lmao @ the jump from "amazon" going "yeah this has been happening a lot, you want to talk to the guy fixing it?" to this guy going "we have 900 arrest warrants out for You Specifically" like. dang krista warn a pal next time

"My head swam. I Googled my name along with “warrant” and “money laundering,” but nothing came up. Were arrest warrants public? I wasn’t sure. Google led me to truthfinder.com, which asked for my credit-card information — nope." i cant. she. tried to google her own arrest warrant. and then. got bounced off a scam website because it asked for her credit card info. and. i guess she probably mentions this to emphasize the "i dont usually fall for scams" thing? but im just far more blown away that she literally tried to google that but not. like. "are arrest warrants public". which very swiftly brings up a wikihow article on finding out if you have one where item #1 is "check official government sites". but even after getting no results for what she did look up, she just. moves on?????

"“This is the first I’m hearing about any of this, and it’s a lot to take in.” He asked if I had ever used public or unsecured Wi-Fi. “I don’t know. Maybe?” I said. “I used the airport Wi-Fi recently.” “Ah,” he said. “That’s unfortunate. It’s how many of these breaches start.” I was embarrassed, like I’d left my fly unzipped. How could I have been so thoughtless? But also — didn’t everyone use the airport Wi-Fi?" I CANT I CANTTTTTT "have you done anything unsecure lately?" "uh i mean i guess this one thing maybe" "yep it was that uh huh got it in one👍" incredible. also maam you said you used the airport wifi recently. how recently. was it long enough for them to open 22 bank accounts 9 vehicles and 4 properties in your name as well as get busted for drug trafficking. because something tells me it was not.

"Calvin told me to listen carefully. “The first thing you must do is not tell anyone what is going on. Everyone around you is a suspect.” I almost laughed. I told him I was quite sure that my husband, who works for an affordable-housing nonprofit and makes meticulous spreadsheets for our child-care expenses, was not a secret drug smuggler. “I believe you, but even so, your communications are probably under surveillance,” Calvin said. “You cannot talk to him about this.” I quickly deleted the text messages I had sent my husband a few minutes earlier." GIRL I CANT i get not everyone has had to sit through a cybersecurity/fraud training. but this isnt even a fraud thing this is literally just . life 101 that when someone says "dont tell anyone else about this" and "this" is making you feel unsafe, you Immediately Tell Someone Else

"Calvin wanted to know how much money I currently had in my bank accounts. I told him that I had two — checking and savings — with a combined balance of a little over $80,000." maam. maam. if calvin can see all 22 of your fake bank accounts and where they've wired money. why pray tell the fuck would he not be able to see your two real ones and their balance.

"His voice took on a more urgent tone. “You must have worked very hard to save all that money,” he said. “Do not share your bank-account information with anyone. I am going to help you keep your money safe.” He said that he would transfer me to his colleague at the CIA who was the lead investigator on my case and gave me a nine-digit case number for my records. (I Googled the number. Nothing.) He said the CIA agent would tell me what to do next, and he wished me luck." im going insane over this she repeatedly mentions them giving her case numbers and how the people keep saying the calls are being monitored for quality i think to like try and highlight how little details like that were part of what made it convincing but. th. has she ever been given a case number for something like this before. those are. internal. do you think the ftc keeps public investigation records where all the people theyre investigating would need to pull it up is the goddamn case number. i don't even know what the ftc does exactly but based on Just This Article i can guarantee you right now their real cases do not have numbers accessible through google. also "his voice took on a more urgent tone" - aka "tried not to scream out loud in excitement when he realized the easiest mark of a lifetime is also loaded as fuck"

"If it was a scam, I couldn’t see the angle. It had occurred to me that the whole story might be made up or an elaborate mistake. But no one had asked me for money or told me to buy crypto; they’d only encouraged me not to share my banking information. They hadn’t asked for my personal details; they already knew them. I hadn’t been told to click on anything. Still, I had not seen a shred of evidence. I checked my bank accounts, credit cards, and credit score; nothing looked out of the ordinary." HELP ITS SO GOOD. THEY DIDNT TELL HER TO BUY CRYPTO THEREFORE SHE DIDNT THINK IT WAS A SCAM. also "they didnt ask for money" GIRL YOURE NOT OFF THE PHONE YET like i absolutely get she couldnt have actually /known/ that he was going to ask down the line but like. why would you make that call this early. you have not finished talking to them. and the way she keeps being like "i checked my stuff and saw nothing so it made me confused" AND THEN. JUST KEEPS GOING? LIKE THAT SHOULDNT CONFUSE YOU THAT SHOULD GIVE YOU THE ANSWER

"The next man who got on the line had a deeper voice and a slight British accent flecked with something I couldn’t identify. He told me his name was Michael Sarano and that he worked for the CIA on cases involving the FTC. He gave me his badge number. “I’m going to need more than that,” I said. “I have no reason to believe that any of what you’re saying is real.” “I completely understand,” he said calmly. He told me to go to the FTC home page and look up the main phone number. “Now hang up the phone, and I will call you from that number right now.” I did as he said. The FTC number flashed on my screen, and I picked up. “How do I know you’re not just spoofing this?” I asked. “It’s a government number,” he said, almost indignant. “It cannot be spoofed.” I wasn’t sure if this was true and tried Googling it, but Michael was already onto his next point." gotta be real with yall i wouldve taken this part to my grave. also this is super minor but it keeps bugging me, why does she mention everyone's accents. like she does it even when she fully can't identify where it comes from. whats up with that

"He wanted to know if I had told anyone what was going on. I admitted that I had texted my husband. “You must reassure him that everything is fine,” Michael said. “In many cases like this, we have to investigate the spouse as well, and the less he knows, the less he is implicated. From now on, you have to follow protocol if you want us to help you.”" hm yes many such cases

"Michael snowed me with the same stories Calvin had. They were consistent: the car on the Texas border, the property in New Mexico, the drugs, the bank accounts." I CANTTTTTTT SHES TRYING TO SHOW WHY IT MAKES SENSE SHE FELL FOR IT BUT . WHY WOULD YOU THINK SCAMMERS WOULDNT GET THEIR STORY STRAIGHT FIRST

"He asked if I shared my residence with anyone besides my husband and son. Then he asked more questions about my family members, including my parents, my brother, and my sister-in-law. He knew their names and where they lived." once again this feels like its given as a reason it was believable but im . he knows all that about your family but doesnt know if anyone else lives with you besides your direct family? and that doesnt raise any red flags???? he HAS YOUR ADDRESS WHY DO YOU THINK HE WOULDNT HAVE JUST CHECKED. OR JUST COME TO YOUR GODDAMN HOUSE TO ARREST YOU FOR THE BAJILLION WARRANTS IN THE FIRST PLACE!! WHY WOULD THE REAL COPS WITH A WARRANT OUT FOR YOUR ARREST IMMEDIATELY BELIEVE YOU WHEN YOU SAID YOU DIDNT DO IT AND START DISCLOSING INVESTIGATION DETAILS. AUGH

"I told him they had nothing to do with this. In fact, I was now sure I wanted to consult a lawyer. “If you talk to an attorney, I cannot help you anymore,” Michael said sternly. “You will be considered noncooperative. Your home will be raided, and your assets will be seized. You may be arrested. It’s your choice.” This seemed ludicrous. I pictured officers tramping in, taking my laptop, going through our bookshelves, questioning our neighbors, scaring my son. It was a nonstarter." LUDICROUS? LUDICROUS???? FUCKING SEEMED LUDICROUS DID IT? NOT THE PART WHERE YOURE NOT ALLOWED TO TALK TO A LAWYER. BUT THE PART WHERE IT SCARES YOUR SON???????? NO QUESTIONS ABOUT THE LAWYER PART AT ALL????

”“Can I just come to your office and sort this out in person?” I said. “It’s getting late, and I need to take my son trick-or-treating soon.”” FUCKING. I GUESS NOT!!!!

"“My office is in Langley,” he said. “We don’t have enough time. We need to act immediately. I’m going to talk you through the process. It’s going to sound crazy, but we must follow protocol if we’re going to catch the people behind this.” He explained that the CIA would need to freeze all the assets in my name, including my actual bank accounts. In the eyes of the law, there was no difference between the “real” and the fraudulent ones, he said. They would also deactivate my compromised Social Security number and get me a new one. Then, by monitoring any activity under my old Social Security number and accounts, they would catch the criminals who were using my identity and I would get my life back. But until then, I would need to use only cash for my day-to-day expenses." god i cant i cant i cant i cant like later she goes on to talk about how her lawyer brother and a criminal psych professor said this guy was using coerced confession /interrogation techniques by slowly adjusting her sense of reality, so by this point obviously the frog is simmering as hell but i just. no red flags about having to deactivate your ssn and get you a new one? not one? have you tried putting it in rice first, or maybe rebooting it? also like no shade to your lawyer brother or that professor but like to me this whole thing is just. high pressure sales tactics. youre just rich as fuck so every other time youve fallen for it it hasnt registered bc Its One Banana Michael, How Much Could It Cost? $10?

"He asked me how much cash I thought I would need to support myself for a year if necessary. My assets could be frozen for up to two years if the investigation dragged on, he added. There could be a trial; I might need to testify. These things take time. “I don’t know, $50,000?” I said. I wondered how I would receive paychecks without a bank account. Would I have to take time off from work? I did some mental calculations of how much my husband could float us and for how long." IM INSANE FIFTY THOUSAND IS YOUR MINIMUM? WITH YOUR HUSBANDS HELP?? YOURE UNAWARE PAYCHECKS CAN BE CASHED AND NOT JUST DEPOSITED????? YOU WRITE FINANCIAL ADVICE

"“Okay,” he said. “You need to go to the bank and get that cash out now. You cannot tell them what it is for. In one of my last cases, the identity thief was someone who worked at the bank.”" i'm dying not the many such cases again

"Michael told me to keep the phone on speaker so we would remain in contact. “It’s important that I monitor where this money goes from now on. Remember, all of your assets are part of this investigation."" hm yes no one had asked for money. at this point im starting to believe the word "ask" earlier was deliberate and she thought it had to be phrased as optional to be a scam because how did she consider it earlier then at no point while Getting The Money go "huh, i have money, and they want me to give it to them, maybe this is what people meant by asking for money"

"Then he told me that one of his colleagues would meet me at my apartment at 5 p.m. to guide me through the next steps. “You can’t send a complete stranger to my home,” I said, my voice rising. “My 2-year-old son will be here.” “Let me worry about that,” he said. “It’s my job. But if you don’t cooperate, I cannot keep you safe." It’s impossible to explain why I accepted this logic." YEAH NO KIDDING??? HES IN LANGLEY TF IS HE GONNA DO TO SAVE YOUR KID FROM HIS COLLEAGUE

"I asked the teller for $50,000. The woman behind the thick glass window raised her eyebrows, disappeared into a back room, came back with a large metal box of $100 bills, and counted them out with a machine. Then she pushed the stacks of bills through the slot along with a sheet of paper warning me against scams. I thanked her and left." ok to be fair i think this one is here to poke fun at herself for not paying attention to it because it's Just So Ironic but like. bruh

"As I walked back to my apartment, something jolted me out of my trance, and I became furious. No government agency would establish this as “protocol.” It was preposterous. “I need to speak with Michael,” I told the woman on the phone. He got on right away. “I don’t even believe that you’re a CIA agent,” I said. “What you’re asking me to do is completely unreasonable.” He sighed. “I’m sending you a photo of my badge right now,” he said. “I don’t know what else to tell you. You can trust me, and I will help you. Or you can hang up and put yourself and your family in danger. Do you really want to take that risk with a young child?" (skipping some stuff) A picture of Michael’s badge appeared on my phone. I had no way of verifying it; it could easily have been Photoshopped. “I don’t trust you at all,” I said to Michael. “But it doesn’t seem like I have any other choice.”" i need you all to picture me screaming into a pillow right now

"Michael told me to label it with my name, my case number, my address, a locker number he read to me, and my signature." AHAHAHA sorry i just love him slipping in a copy of her signature to forge at the end. at that point might as well right

"“My colleague will be there soon. He is an undercover CIA agent, and he will secure the money for you,” he said. What exactly would that entail? I asked. “Tonight, we will close down your Social Security number, and you will lose access to your bank accounts,” he explained. “Tomorrow, you’ll need to go to the Social Security office and get a new Social Security number. We’ll secure this money for you in a government locker and hand-deliver a Treasury check for the same amount. You can cash the check and use it for your expenses until the investigation is over.” “Why can’t I just use this cash?” I asked. “Why do you have to take it and give me a check?” “Because all of your assets under your current identity are part of the investigation,” he said. “You are being charged with money laundering. If we secure this cash and then issue you a government check under your new Social Security number, that will be considered clean money.”" now why would you need to do that it's already been laundered

"“I’ll need to see your colleague’s badge,” I said. “I’m not just going to give $50,000 of my money to someone I don’t know.” “Undercover agents don’t carry badges,” he said, as if I’d asked the CIA to bring me a Happy Meal. “They’re undercover. Remember, you are probably being watched. The criminals cannot know that a CIA agent is there.” In a twisted way, this made some amount of sense to me. Or maybe I had lost my grip on reality so completely that I was willing to resign myself to this new version of it. Most important, I didn’t know what else to do. Even if Michael wasn’t working for the CIA (which struck me as more and more likely), he was sending a man to our address. I felt a sickening dread that he might ask to come inside." boy am i glad that she said she was losing her grip on reality at this point because otherwise i would explode on the spot

"A little after 6 p.m., Michael told me to go downstairs. His colleague was arriving. My husband had just come home from work and was reading to our son. “What’s going on? Is everything okay?” he asked as I put my coat on. I motioned to the phone and shushed him. Then I whispered, “I have to go downstairs and meet a guy who’s helping with the identity-theft case. I’ll explain more later.” He frowned and silently mouthed, “What?” I told him I had to go." JAHDKSBFKSBFKSBKFJSKFBSKFHSKRBKWHFKENFM you just know the husband lays awake at night thinking about this moment still

"As I walked back inside, Michael texted me a photo of a Treasury check made out to me for $50,000 and told me a hard copy would be hand-delivered to me in the morning. He was working on setting up my appointment with the Social Security office. “You will receive a confirmation text shortly,” he said. “Stay on the line until you do.” I felt oddly comforted by this. An appointment would give me something legitimate, an actual connection to a government agency." i can,t does she. think texts cant be faked

"I took my son trick-or-treating, my phone on speaker in my pocket. (skipping junk) At one point, I checked to see if Michael was still there; his female colleague answered and said he’d be back soon. Then, when we got home and I checked again, the line was dead. I panicked and called back. The woman answered. “Michael is busy,” she said. “He’ll call you in the morning.”" I CANT SHE SPENT THE WHOLE TRICK OR TREATING WAITING FOR THE TEXT AND DIDN'T. REALIZE? DID YOU ONLY TRICK OR TREAT FOR LIKE 5 MINUTES? HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT

"I went into my bedroom and shut the door, feeling my face grow hot. I had a physical sensation of scales falling from my eyes; the room shimmered around me, spots raining from the ceiling. I saw the whole day peel away, like the layers of an onion — Michael, the FTC officer, the Amazon call — revealing my real life, raw and exposed, at the center. “Oh my God,” I said, my hands tingling. “You are lying to me. Michael was lying. You just took my money and I’m never getting it back.” That wasn’t true, the woman said. She understood that I was upset. She was sorry. Everything would be fine. “You’re a fucking liar,” I hissed, and hung up." i just cant the fact that her last straw was. not getting the ssn appointment

"Through choking sobs, I told my husband what had happened. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, incredulous. “I would have stopped you.” (skipping ahead to another part from way later) My husband felt helpless; he still doesn’t like to talk about it." YEAH I BET HE DOESNT? IF MY WIFE WHO WAS THE MAIN BREADWINNER GAVE AWAY $50,000 WITHOUT EVEN TALKING TO ME I WOULD ALSO BE A BIT TOUCHY ABOUT IT. like once again you KNOW this man thinks about that moment before she left every single day now

"“No government agency will ever ask you for money,” one cop informed me, as if I’d never heard it before. I wanted to scream, “I know.” Instead, I said, “It didn’t really feel like he was asking.”" WAIT OH MY GOD I DIDNT NOTICE THIS THE FIRST TIME I READ THROUGH I CANT BELIEVE SHE LITERALLY DID THINK IT MEANT IT HAD TO BE A REQUEST. I THOUGHT I WAS MOSTLY JOKING WHEN I SAID THAT EARLIER IM KSNFKSJFKDND

"Were my tendencies toward people-pleasing, rule following, and conflict aversion far worse than I’d ever thought, even pathological?" oh my god guys, maybe... maybe the reason i got scammed is that. im just too nice of a person. maybe even.... in a scary mental illness way........

"I worried it would harm my professional reputation. I still do." YOURE. A FINANCIAL ADVICE WRITER. IT SHOULD

"Fifty thousand dollars is a lot of money. It took me years to save, stashing away a few thousand every time I got paid for a big project. Part of it was money I had received from my grandfather, an inheritance he took great pains to set up for his grandchildren before his death." god can you imagine having multiple thousands of dollars to save all at once. on more than one occasion even. also obvious inheritance is obvious (and yes, this is the one time she mentions that, lmao)

"Sometimes I imagine how I would have spent it if I had to get rid of it in a day. I could have paid for over a year’s worth of child care up front." ok this is the part i wanted to get to the most because i did the math, "over a year's worth" i think means between 13 and 17 months bc past that it makes more sense to say a year and a half, so this woman's CHILDCARE ALONE. is likely anywhere from $35,000 - $46,000 a year. which also means that of the $50,000 she withdrew, she either a) expected her whole family to survive the year on the remaining $15k - $4k, b) was planning on cutting out childcare entirely (doubtful given how rich people are), or c) took the guy literally when he asked how much she needed to support herself for a year and that was her estimate for Literally Just Her. fuckin rich people man

"I could have housed multiple families for months. Perhaps, inadvertently, I am; I occasionally wonder what the scammers did with it." me when i cast myself as the rich people robin hood steals from totally not as copium for getting scammed. also just the vibe of "i couldve helped the poors:(( i mean i didnt but like i couldve:(((( too bad i dont have money anymore or i totally would:((((((((."

"Initially, I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to afford my taxes this year, but then my accountant told me I could write off losses due to theft." confirmed doesnt do her own taxes. also if you recall she said she had $80,000 total which means that she had. $30,000 left over. and was scared that wouldn't be enough to pay her taxes. half the people i know don't even MAKE that much in a year like. can you imagine having this kind of life

"When I did tell friends what had happened, it seemed like everyone had a horror story. One friend’s dad, a criminal-defense attorney, had been scammed out of $1.2 million. Another person I know, a real-estate developer, was duped into wiring $450,000 to someone posing as one of his contractors. Someone else knew a Wall Street executive who had been conned into draining her 401(k) by some guy she met at a bar." I CANT I CANT I CANT i cant tell if she only listed off other rich fucks as part of her like "see smart people do fall for it all the time" thing and thinks well paying job = smart or if she just Literally Doesn't Know A Single Person Anywhere Near The Poverty Line. or if she does and just none of them had been scammed? either way extremely funny

"If I had to pinpoint a moment that made me think my scammers were legitimate, it was probably when they read me my Social Security number. Now I know that all kinds of personal information — your email address, your kids’ names and birthdays, even your pets’ names — are commonly sold on the dark web. Of course, the scammers could also have learned about my son from a 30-second perusal of my Instagram feed." SOLD ON THE DARK WEB HELLO? THEYRE ON THE REGULAR WEB YOU LITERALLY POINTED IT OUT YOURSELF. AND IT WASN'T YOUR WHOLE SOCIAL!!!!!!!!!

"It also mattered that I was kept on the phone for so long. People start to break down cognitively after a few hours of interrogation." im not putting the whole interrogation part here because its long and i already explained the important part earlier but like. ok sure ill accept that this explains why she was so compliant the last section, but . there were several hours before that,

"Either way, I have to accept that someone waged psychological warfare on me, and I lost. For now, I just don’t answer my phone." PLEASE you cannot sign off by calling that psychological warfare. that was a light tussle at best. you tried thumb wrestling someone and got flung across the room in seconds. krista from amazon LOOKED at you wrong and you immediately collapsed into a quivering puddle on the floor. you do not get to spin this as "anyone can fall for a scam" when what you really mean is "please please no one think im as dumb as i used to think you stupid poors are i promise im different."

anyways. incredibly annoying read 10/10

goodness gracious

[problemsynth]

I don't really have much to say on like the wider leftist/anarchist movements that hasn't been said better by tons of voices better and more wide spread than mine. I usually lurk more than participating online (doing the reading, using it as a jumping off point for things that surround me). But something that has always bothered me in leftist spaces Is just the prevalence of repackaged personal responsibility politics.

Like not to mistake it for like holding people accountable for their actions (that's different and needed, you hold Steve accountable for that slur he dropped or w/e). but like the fundamental push for your personal life to reflect some moral good in all your actions and interactions with no real consideration for things like culture, disability, and poverty, etc. And the humming and hawing and forcing people to justify fairly normal life choices that dont even disprove their actions. And then the air of superiority and judgement that follows even when everyone (mostly) agrees that they get a "pass". It's this you didn't do the game with multiple options correctly so I don't want to give you the delicious juice reward mindset.

Like it's a lot of twitterisms and shit that have the wider impact of making the activism these people claim to be doing that much harder and ineffective. Bc a lot of the steps are just first world shit. Like idk the whole boycotting products thing. Which like ok that's valid you don't want to support an unethical practice fair. But boycotting products is the least effective way (boycotts generally don't last in peoples minds very long and the way the monopolies run shit means you could still be buying from them and not even know it, you're likely not even the target demographic, etc) and ignores that it's often not an option bc that may be the only option for a lot of people (supply or cost, etc)

And then it goes further in a lot of whiter spaces where there's this overwhelming sense of "actually we know better" and it crosses the line into actual racism.

Like idk how the veil of active is used to perpetuate actual genocides.

Like the racism and ableism are the biggest ones. (and Im white so I don't think I have a right to go in depth about it. My voice isn't the most important one to listen to. But I am disabled so.) But it's telling that when you prod at these personal responsibility arguments that it quickly devolves into an argument of "who gets to decide who has a 'right' to break the 'rules'" bc you quickly get a mask off that the people you're talking to believe there should be a system to determine who has enough special points and that they think they have the right to decide that.

Im sorry what? No. Why are we reinventing "able-bodied white people get to make the rules" again?

Like idk my point here is by all means use your own actions to support your activism. But forcing your personal choices on people and blaming them and denying them the respect they deserve for not fitting into your box of what makes a good activist is not Activism. It's not morally right. It's a dick move and contradictory to what you're claiming to believe.

Other working class people aren't your enemy redirect your anger to corporations and stop looking down on who are doing the best with what they have.

[iamshay]

no longer giving anyone the benefit of the doubt, you are what you show me!!!!

Hi babes. I am sorry I have been afk lately. I just had so much on my plate at moment. Don't think I have not noticed all your babies that have been following me on Tumblr. I want to say i appreciate all of you that follow me here. Thanks for the love.

We have been working on kick lately try to get that sub button. We sign up on kick in December and waiting to get my name straight up took its time. So now we got our real name and which part of my brand. kick.com/shay go follow so u don't miss a single stream on there. I play a variety of games and I do play with the community as well. Get on there if you want to connect more with me closer then just reading my blog. So we can find a game we can play. and tell me you from tumblr so i know you from here.

Don't be shy come say hey and ask to play a game. I usually play apex and sons of the forest lately and but i am a variety gamer i am down to any game. that just means if got the same game. We will figure things out when we talk.

I have so much to tell all yah. some much tea to spill. I every day run into ungrateful snakes. I will always be transparent with my readers and the people who support me. i am about honesty each time I come with tea I come with receipts as well. I get a lot of traffic on here when come to people reading. So hope all of you make an account on kick.com and follow me shay its the only account name "shay" for that girl with a cartoon lensa picture that I have shared pictures of here too. yah will know the moment u see it. Search my name in the search bar and follow. There so much shit went down around kick and the people on their known faces that need to be exposed for a lot of shit they do. It its important people should know about this because they get cheated and that is not fair throws anyone. Like said I will always be transparent with yah. i do not support anyone that cheating system just gets ahead of everyone else. i am going to do a separate post about it with screenshots and such. and show how this person gaslighting and narcissistic they are. after so much you have done for them. So you ain't dumb like me give the benefit of the doubt. and don't waste a single dim on them because they only like when u toss them money. all their ego is about the money they treat people badly after when the amount of money stops. since they hiding their true color i will tell yah who they are. So be aware that your money goes to someone that actually deserves it more and treats people well without money and with.

I am telling yah everything so u dont need deal with these heartless people. I will post i just need organize them pictures. when i have it i will post it. Don't forget follow my channel kick.com/shay i stream there every day besides the weekend depending on i sometimes might do surprise stream. but yeah go follow on there. I got twitch.tv/am_shay but i am a bit on a break from twitch trying get myself verified on kick. i am not going still on twitch it's just i been a busy focus on building my kick channel. I still love my family over twitch. i am not going to gamble my twitch cuz kick is in beta we do not know what the future hold for kick. I regardless want get a partner there too but i wont go out of twitch i am just streaming on both just not same time. I do a twitch stream abit then end it to go over kick stream. like spilled the stream. There is some rules on twitch that don't allow some content which i respect a lot so i can do those content on kick. but yeah go follow my channel's twitch and kick it will mean a lot.

https://kick.com/shay

Anyways i am going to end my vent here. go follow both so u dont miss thoes streams. trust you will miss a lot content there.

good night babies

[garfieldsladybird]

i have a small question! i remember you being a writer whenever i first followed you and i was wondering on how you got into writing on tumblr? i write on wattpad a lot and i feel like it’d be nice to post small imagines on here and i just want a few tips or anything you have to spare, if that’s alright? thank you!

hiii !! thank you so much for coming to me and yes I was a writer and still am (just haven’t written anything in a while lol).

— before reading all of this, I would just wanna let you know that I don’t know if any of this really helped because I don’t know how to the answer your question. ik how too but idk.  thank you for coming to me! I hope some of this or something in this helped! If none of this helped, please ignore, but thank you and have a good day! :)

and also If you ever need help trying to learn the ways of Tumblr, please come ask me, I already have a few posts explaining how to do things on here too.

how did I get into writing on Tumblr?

well, I joined very spontaneously in early 2022 and I just read and reblogged a lot fic’s at first until May when I posted my first actual writing piece. Like first ever actual writing piece. I was on Wattpad from 2020 till the end of like 2021-early 2022, and writing on Wattpad is much different than writing on here. and I much preferably like Tumblr for writing because it gives you more font options, and I just personally like this app more.

how I got into actually posting that piece of writing though was because I hit 100 followers and I was very happy to hit that mile stone. I was very proud of myself in that moment. And so I wrote an idea. and I put it together, and I liked it. It made me laugh and so I posted it.

and honestly if you do feel like writing small imagines here, go for it!! do it! I believe in you!! (but of course, only do it if you want to.)

I suggest using tags, you can put the fandom in the tags, the character name, what genre it is;  ‘harry potter x reader fluff’ or ‘harry potter fluff’ it would be like that.

I honestly suggest making your Tumblr blog kind of look like something that’s ngl like mine, with a main post pinned with your links and having some aesthetic or something, just so people know you’re not a bot. but you can have like a small introduction at first if you don’t have anything made. but just make your blog, your blog. and you don’t have to have pictures or anything, you can just have a name (i suggest a fake name unless you’re comfortable giving your real name, just don’t give out details on where you live and all that yk.), you can have age too or if you’re a minor or not, though you dont have too, and pronouns too. again only have the stuff that you really wanna have on there. and also a masterlist would be very helpful in finding all of your works.

go find other Tumblr writers that write for the fandoms you into, make mutuals. And also just want to add please respect the blog users boundaries, the people’s boundaries, I just say that because like be aware of the 18 and 16 plus accounts if you are under those ages but yeah just in general be respectful.

The interactions you get on here are way better than Wattpad. I mean some are. with having the inbox, question thingy, you may get hate for the things you say and write and they literally can just say it and it will be anonymous too. it’s fucked up. But people do that, and please ignore them if you do get hate. but on the brighter side of the interactions on here, the mutuals I made here are really amazing! I have my following open if you want to go look through it.

Oh, and also, the system on here is very different. Notes, like/hearting the post will basically do nothing for it, you have to reblog a post for it to be shown in other places… basically. So you have to share it for it to pop up ig. I don’t know how to put it in words. But that’s how the algorithm works here. the community here is very nice though much better then wattpad in my opinion but then again, it all depends.

you should go with what your heart desires in writing. ofc go with what your heart desires.

(request writing??, heres this) if you have a request sitting in your inbox forever, but you moved on from that character though you still love the idea of writing that request someday, you can just keep it in your inbox and when you come back to that character, you can write it then. (maybe only do that if you know you will come back to that character, and if you really do love the request/idea). 

But if a request is draining you, you can just delete it. you don’t have to write requests. And you also don’t have to write every idea that comes to your head all at once. You can make a list and slowly get to all of them, one bit at a time. 

and if you lose motivation, that’s okay. you can definitely try pushing yourself through the writers block. (though it’s hard too sometimes and that’s understandable, it’s okay)

Don’t compare your writing to anyone else’s. Everyone’s writing is unique in their own way, and you’re doing it in your way with your own words. Everyone’s writing is going to be different and if anything learn from the writing that you read.

also, write for yourself.

okay peace ✌️ love ya 🫶🫶🫶 be safe :)

[strqyr]

We do know Shade and Atlas do partners, Ozpin seems to be the only one to use first eye contact for his initiation, for Shade, Before the Dawn goes into a little detail with their initiation and while we dont know how everything is scored completely, looks like partners are figured out by who works together and teams are put together after. And Ironwood seems to put people together based off who he thinks makes a good team.

it's been a while since i've read before the dawn, but with a quick search of the word 'partner' and dive into the wiki, i can't find any mention where they actually got new partners when new teams were formed. velvet does partner with octavia for the duration of the initiation, but that's more out of necessity rather than that they have to form partnerships.

there's really no direct answer to it, it could be yes or no, but i feel like if they did get new partners it would be mentioned at some point, especially since team cfvy would have to get used to new partners, not just teams—surely comparisons would be made at that point?

atlas could do partners, but again, i find the evidence to be kind of... eh? sure, the ace-ops are formed in a way that them being partners makes sense... but then you have clover as the odd one out. penny and ciel, and team fnki are only examples of students, but 1. we don't know if penny's team was 'real' or if it existed solely so that penny could take part in the tournament, and 2. team fnki does seem split into partners, but if we consider flynt and neon partners because of the tournament, then by that account yang and weiss would be partners as well... which obviously isn't the case.

atlas def comes across as.... like. do they even have an initiation? maybe more as an evaluation so that everyone gets put on "best" teams that account for their weaknesses and strengths, whether those people get along or not is secondary. and shade in general focuses more on the individual; being on teams might be mandatory, but they're not super focused on teamwork so i could see them skipping the partner system.

...not that the partner system has ever really played a major role in the show. it's one of those things that could or could not exist, and i wouldn't see much of a difference. they're still a team, that covers the teamwork aspect, and you really don't need more than that.

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Let’s talk: Vlive Asks and comment/chat discussions

From @cottoncandykings​: Hello! As u probably know jimin just went live recently and again he mentioned mandaggo and discussing about doing it with tae. I just find it so weird though. I mean jimin keeps constantly mentioning it and its not like vminnies were begging or dying for a vmin live everyday even before jimin mentioned it last year. Even now most including myself dont really care that much ofc i m happy if they do one together. But the way jimin keeps mentioning it is so weird. Like surely if he wanted to do it so badly he could have talked to tae privately and arranged it by now. And if tae is the one that doesnt want to do it then idk why jimin is pushing it. But what was really weird to me this time was that he said there were lots of comments about mandaggo yesterday in zoom call and yet they didnt mention it yesterday but suddenly today without prompting he talks about it. I also hope no one spammed the zoom call chat or the vlive chat with requests for vmin live (i didnt see any) bcoz thats just unnecessary and demanding. I hope vminnies wont demand/ ask for another memeber when one of them is live. Its just disrespectful. This turned into a rant sorry. Do you think it was weird too?

Since Admin 2 can’t type their thoughts themselves, I’ll relay their thoughts to you instead, since they had more thoughts/opinions/ideas in regard to this than I do, to be honest.

Admin 2 is sure that there is a good chance that we will get a vmin vlive sometime soon, which I know contradicts their original opinion and post from a few months ago, but there’s a reason for it. During the zoom meeting between BTS and ARMY they noticed something I don’t think anyone else noticed, or at least neither of us has seen any vminnies mention it anywhere, which in conjunction with Jimin’s vlive today and saying how he’d talk to Tae about doing a mandaggo vlive again, as well as another observation a little while ago, leads them to this conclusion.

So, the observation from the zoom meeting. Basically at one point when the question of Jimin doing a vlive arose Tae looks at Jimin and then he nods while smiling which in turn makes Jimin smile as he turns away from Tae and back to face toward the camera before answering the question and saying how he’ll come visit us the next day. Which he did.

Then the other observation from a while ago, this one being from their OT7 vlive celebrating their BBH100 #1 on June 29th where at one point Jimin says something but slips into satoori after which Tae encourages him to say that again but this time in the Seoul accent, so the way they actually should speak, which Jimin says isn’t difficult but he doesn’t actually end up repeating what he said.

And lastly in today’s vlive Jimin mentioned how he’s using satoori quite often but that he isn’t all that good at doing it on command or at teaching it to others, which is something he’d have to do for mandaggo but I’m sure he’d manage just fine if the time came for it.

Based on that Admin 2′s thoughts are basically that Jimin really meant it when he said, last year, that he’ll bring Tae around for a vlive, that it wasn’t a joke or a way to tease us with something he knew he wouldn’t be able to deliver, but rather that up until this point they weren’t quite sure how to do it. Which sounds a bit odd, I know, but what they mean is that if vmin were to just sit down in front of the camera and were supposed to just talk based on what the chat would give them, it would likely just turn out awkward and weird and no one, including them, would really have fun. Even more so when we take into account how idiotic the chat is during regular vlives so now imagine if those two were to do one together that’s just a casual chat. It would likely end up in disaster and honestly I wouldn’t wish it upon them to read all those awful comments that they would likely get, even worse ones than they already get normally, to be honest.

But now that the whole satoori thing was brought up, and Jimin actually mentioned mandaggo and wanting to bring it back after so many years, Admin 2 thinks that they must’ve finally figured out a solution to their problem, if you can call it that. Doing mandaggo would basically mean they would have an activity, something to do similar to how they did those ASMR videos for the Japanese Fan Club which were fun and cute, and so Admin 2 thinks that perhaps chances are we will finally get the vlive we’ve waited for so long (though like many others I’ve long given up the idea).

Another confirmation is that during his vlive today Jimin basically said that he only came by for a little while since they are quite busy and had to soon get ready for work with the other members but that he’ll return in two or three weeks for a more proper, longer, vlive. So, he could’ve treated today’s vlive as the promised one but instead he saw it more as a bridging one between the zoom meeting and the proper vlive he wants to do, so is it the farfetched to think that he had proper plans for a vlive, like doing mandaggo, but it just wouldn’t have worked out time wise today so he moved the actual vlive he wanted to make to a later date?

One last thing (well two actually) that has nothing to do with this question but Admin 2 wanted me to include it anyway is that one, have you noticed how Tae and Jimin were both on weverse around 3 am (until almost 4am (also both of them posting a comment to some post at 03:41 am KST)) one after the other (though with one day of a break in between them) recently and then also two, that Jimin was up until like 6 am (since he posted on weverse around that time) on the 8th and then during the zoom meeting Tae answered a question by saying that he’d been awake until 6 am the previous day (also the 8th) since he wanted to see the sunrise? Which is also something an anon mentioned to us. Curious, isn’t it?

From anon: I request both admins to please post this ask. So jimin wwnt live today and one of the accounts on twt posted a screen cap of them commenting 'touch your hair if vmin is real' in the live chat and jimin's reaction to it. Now idk if it is an edit or real. No matter i just want to say its not ok to bring up ships in front of the members no matter which ship it is. We dont know the reality of their relationship so lets not make them uncomfortable. Its not a joke. Its not funny. Be respectful the members are real people.

(Admin 1 taking over from this point onward) This ask nicely ties into the last one that’ll be further down in this post since they cover a similar issue of sorts. But let’s start with this one asking about, essentially, vlive comments and the things fans ask/comment, which also ties in with the above ask as well.

The thing with the vlive chat, and especially comments/questions that are like anon said, questions or “commands/requests” about touch your hair if XYZ ship is real or cough twice if you love XYZ member or, likewise, comments such as where is XYZ member or what are the other members doing, unfortunately those have been a steady and unchanging part of the vlive chat since basically forever. It’s been an issue on and off with different intensities though I feel like it’s gotten worse again this year. Particularly if we look back at the vlive Tae did with Hobi and Yoongi and how essentially the entire chat was filled with comments related to Xkook and not much else.

If my memory doesn’t fail me we once even had a situation some years ago (2016) where the chat during Hobi’s vlive was so bad, as in so full of questions about that other members instead of him, that you could see he was upset about it and eventually he handed over the vlive to Jimin, whom the chat had requested Hobi to visit, and Hobi just left. And I can’t blame him for it since the chat must’ve made him feel like basically no one cared about him so what was even the point of him being there, right?

Personally I’ve long given up looking at the comments during vlive because they just make me cringe and feel bad for the members, especially when I think back to vlives such as Yoongi’s D2 one last year where he was so excited to talk about the songs and the process of making the mixtape and yet so many of the comments were just unrelated nonsense and annoying request like speak english or can you say my name or say hello in XYZ language. If it makes me question why the people posting those questions are in the chat, why they are fans to begin with, imagine what the members must feel like, how discouraging that must feel like. After all they are musicians and yet so rarely do they get questions about that. Or rather they do get them but they are just drowned out by nonsense. Which is a shame. And also very disrespectful but any attempts that were made to remind people to be respectful, to remember their place as fans, to focus on the member that’s doing the vlive instead of asking about the others, and to keep ships away from the members have failed because some don’t care and will continue to not care.

From anon: what are your opinions on the Qs that were asked during that zoom meeting thing between BTS and ARMY?

Now I’d like to preface my answer to this last question by saying that by no means do my grievances come from a place of jealousy or anything. I’m very happy for all the ARMYs that won their spot, that they got to participate in the event and that BTS got to see ARMYs again even if only on screens and not in person still. No, my issue stems from something completely different, and I don’t want to say that the system chose the wrong people, because that would be mean and also who even knows how the winners were chosen, if it was pure luck or there were some actual criteria that went into the process, but the fact is that only a select 200 ARMYs got that spot out of however many that applied, so basically for some this was a once in a lifetime chance, right, even just getting this close to asking Bangtan a question and have really great chances of having them give you an answer while acknowledging you somewhat instead of just seeing pure words on a screen, you know what I mean?

Now imagine you are one of those 200 ARMYs and you get the chance to fill the chat with questions along with the other 49 participants of your session and you decide that asking questions such as what it’s like for Jimin to work as angel, if Namjoon ever broke a bicycle, or why JK smells the crowns of the other members heads? Or even worse, you decide to ask about JKs shower routine and in which order he washes his body? And sure, the “fault” doesn’t fall completely on the ARMYs alone, after all it’s the members who read out those questions and not some magical off screen entity, and since I wasn’t part of the event I can’t say with a hundred percent certainty that no one asked any “proper” questions, but if those were the questions that ended up being read out loud, is it that hard to guess that likely all the questions looked similarly? 

Which brings me to my main grievance of it all: have you forgotten that you are fans of musicians and not reality TV stars or vloggers/influencers? I know there were likely no rules for what questions you could or couldn’t ask (except for probably ones that were 100% about shipping or far too personal), but really, you get to ask your favorite band a question, something you might never, ever get the chance to do again, and your first thought isn’t to ask about their music but instead about some unimportant nonsense like the angel question or if they differentiate between the clothes they wear at home and those they sleep in? Like sure the angel one was kinda funny, maybe, and Jimin handled it in a cute way, I applaud him for it, but was that really necessary?

I know someone asked JK about Decalcomania, as well as Tae about his mixtape, and Yoongi/Jimin about Tony Montana (season 2), but other than that were there any other questions about their music? Perhaps I’m overthinking things, maybe I’m exaggerating and maybe I’m the only one who sees an issue with this, but if I would’ve won a spot, I’d rather have asked something about their process when writing lyrics or creating beats or how they prepare when learning new choreographies, what it’s like to be on tour (though perhaps that would be a mean question seeing as tours aren’t really something that’ll continue being possible for a while still), you get the point.

It makes me wonder if it was just bad luck or if it had something to do with how old the participants were (I saw some being as young as fifteen), which isn’t to say that teens can’t ask smart questions because they definitely can just like adults can ask stupid ones as well, but somewhere something, in my opinion, just went weirdly. And maybe that was the point of it all, for the event to be casual, funny, lighthearted, but my question then is when is the time for music discussions? For fans to ask those types of questions that actually have something to do with the boys careers? When even journalists aren’t asking them proper questions, ARMYs aren’t either, so what is the point of it all then?

Then again, after the event concluded and Seokjin came onto vlive he seemed so happy and excited, so maybe they had fun (I mean they seemed to have fun) and didn’t mind at all that the questions were lighthearted and silly, maybe I’m the one making mountains out of molehills. I don’t know, but anon wanted to know my thoughts/opinions, and this is them. Once again, I don’t mean to be mean toward the ARMYs that got rightfully in, that won, and I don’t want to insult them for the questions they asked, perhaps I just expected/hoped for something a little different? And perhaps I’m the only one. I don’t know. 

[furiosity-wills-the-cat]

Chara, the fourth Blook cousin:

A crack theory that accidentally become way more serious than it should have because it somehow, despite my best efforts, ended up making sense

Brought to you by my idiot conspiracy brain (affectionate) and by encouragement from my Tumblr followers

Under the cut for the sake of your dashes and sanity

Ok here we go my very elaborate accidental theory, because in order to answer the complex questions simply you must first make simple things more complex or something

First, you need to know that Chara became a Blook cousin by adoption.

All of the Blooks are adopted.

Ghosts are not born into families, they make their own.

Got it? Great, because we’re about to start running

so first, im gonna make surprisingly uncommon claim in this fandom, and I am going to say that undertale ghosts are all dead

I’m taking the tiny details we know about ghosts and sprinting with them to new places

Ghosts also do not have souls I decided

Undertale souls do not work the same as souls in traditional mythology

So every ghost is soulless Unless and Until they become corporeal

Evidence: Monster souls cant exist without bodies, and ghosts are monsters, therefore ghosts cannot have souls without bodies

Further evidence: Asriel doesnt steal blooky’s soul, blooky is unkillable, we have no concrete evidence that blooky has a soul

What about mettaton? He only has a soul after he has completely committed to being corporeal and to a specific body.

Also maddy and mettaton are both only killable while corporeal

Im also connecting the dots we have about souls in a new creative way so let me live for a second

Additionally, i am going to claim that there are a lot more ghosts than just the blooks, some evidence given below

Theres like actual scientific knowlege of ghosts in the undertale verse which seems unlikely if theres literally only three or four

The underground is so much bigger than you think, theres that giant forest in snowdin, a large town in the ruins, the huge city of new home, who knows how much space in the large open areas of waterfall etc. Its really really big okay

Also based off evidence of blooky, we can conclude that ghosts can turn invisible whenever they want to and/or haunt objects to hide

So I personally think that ghosts are, generally speaking, extremely reclusive

And the blooks are just a special exception, a beautiful family, amazing for them

So anyway im going with typical ghost lore for now, for the sake of ease, so im gonna say ghosts generally come from monsters who are particularly restless or unsatisfied when they die

HOWEVER i dont think they remember being monsters or anything before being a ghost. They just kinda fizzle into existance with a fully formed personality and immortality while being unkillable and feeling vaguely uneasy

ALSO i personally think that chara was a ghost for a long time before they became a blook by adoption

Based on game lore, i think ghosts can possess any inanimate object and just kinda wear it? But it takes a lot of strong emotion to become corporeal

And chara is the super weird exception because they were a human not a monster.

They dont have a soul (i headcanon that their soul got destroyed when asriel died)

And they KNOW this, which is a huge part of why they kinda just... give up

Because they lost their ability to fulfill prophecy

Also, without a soul, they lost their ability to reset, so for the first time since falling underground, theyre subject to the relentless march of time

But theyre still weirdly strong and powerful and more emotional

ALSO they DO still remember being a human but they catch on pretty quickly that other ghosts dont have memories and because chara is stupid they just lie to fit in

Theyre too tired to explain themself, they just want to be alone and feel awful

Now back to ghost lore

Emotions are a lot harder for ghosts??? I decided

And they dont know why,, they tend to blame it on the soul thing

But realistically its actually more of the immortality thing making actions not have consequences and/or or not having a body so they cant have a sense of touch or have physical effects of emotion

They all know that ghosts just tend to be way more floaty and bored and numb

And thats part of why the blooks are so special

Maddy’s rage and Mettaton’s yearning and Napstablook’s misery are like... not great all of the time...

but theyre also way way more emotion than most ghosts have,,, they are just a family supporting each other, being as functional as they can,, just an emo(tional) ghost family

most ghosts barely do anything except like stare at walls but the blooks have their snail farm and that helps them have purpose and it is good

And they hold each other accountable and it is nice

So anyway chara just chills and is in a depression coma for a few decades before the blooks find them and are like “our child/baby cousin”

and they raise them for a cool minute

They are all very protective of the new baby emo blook

And chara doesnt get therapy but at the very least they once again have a family, and they decide they want to try to become corporeal eventually just like mtt and maddy

So anyway chara starts hanging out in the ruins a lot more and they finally tell the blooks theyre leaving to go become corporeal in the ruins

This is actually because they are trying to hang out with toriel

because they miss their mom ;;

but chara’s not gonna admit that to anyone, especially not to themself

And because theyre still repressing their emotions constantly and pretending to be fine, they cant become corporeal

And they hang out in the ruins for a long time because they feel guilty lying to everyone about everything

They still feel like its their fault that all the monsters are stuck underground, because they were SUPPOSED to save everyone and they COULDNT and it HURTS

But again, they are doing too much repression to use this guilt to become corporeal,

so instead they just kinda hide and watch toriel from a distance and cry

Blooky visits them the most, thats why blooky is chilling in the ruins so much at the start of the game

Theyre just there to visit their shy baby cousin ;;

Ofc they wont tell frisk about this because chara wants space and privacy and blooky respects that

but maddy and mtt also visit them a lot

Oh also when mtt and maddy start dissapearing, blookys mental health plummets as their family and support system starts to dissolve

Blooky was actually doing extremely well (for a ghost) for a long time, i headcanon,

but theyre doing the worst theyve been in a long long time during the game, because of family issues

So anyway, chara dissapears when frisk shows up, and maddy assumes this is becaude frisk hurt their fragile feelings

Maddy spends hours desperately searching the ruins for chara and cant find them and assumes that they had their heart crushed and went to hide and disappear in a depression coma for another few decades, and thats part of why maddy is so furious with frisk

Like,, to be clear, maddy is still jumping to conclusions and throwing blame around with no proof, but also, its a logical conclusion to come to

And mettaton has already disappeared too and been gone for a while, too, by this point, so it hurts even worse

But anyway, what actually happened to chara is that;

Because chara is a human ghost, not a monster ghost, normal ghost rules dont apply to them

And they can possess living things too they find out

Maybe they knew it a long time ago, maybe its a new discovery, but for whatever reason they end up possessing frisk and theyre like “what the heck”

And frisk still has most of the control

But now chara is like,,, “this is my chance, im a human again, gotta save the world for real,,,”

and they cant explain this to anyone without revealing their past

so they just chill in frisk’s mind while being super crypic and trying to figure out how it works

Pacifist route, this is pretty much exactly what happens

They manage to help frisk save the day

And in my headcanon, the no mercy route is started by frisk who is scared when faced by monsters attacking them

And then chara, who was aready hiding in a semidepression coma for a while, immediately transitions to a panicked “gotta protect this body, gotta protect my chance to be human, i died and threw away my chance to save everyone the first time, i CANNOT lose this chance again”

And so the combination of both frisk and chara is the genocide run

Because frisk kills in self defense, and whenever frisk hesitates, chara jumps in

Also theres leftover feelings from the whole asriel incident

Because again, ghosts come from monsters who died unsatisfied

And chara’s main source of unsatisfaction is how they were trying to get asriel to kill people before he died and then he didnt

So thats a strong strong feeling ruling them

So anyway by the time they both realize how bad its become they figure its too late and also the amount of LOVE has made them numb

And thats when chara who, despite everything, still has idiot hero complex and thinks they need to save the world

So, while panicking, they step in at the very end, and erase the timeline and delete everything

And also to clarify

They DONT HAVE this power at any other point in the game

Because, guess why

They become corporeal

Just like maddy, the no mercy route is the only thing that gives them strong enough emotion to spontaneously become corporeal

So they become corporeal and as soon as they have a soul again and can reset again, they just erase everything

Ok back to fluff

Post pacifist route, they are still a non corporeal ghost

They can still float around and look just like the other blooks

And it takes them a while to open up about things, but they do end up moving back in with blooky so that blooky isnt completely alone

And also they do way better with a family

Also they can float through the mountain and talk to flowey down below and bring him news

And now that they know about him, they can bond with him and explain that they dont have a soul either but that doesnt mean theyre worthless

Oh ALSO

The other dead humans dont have ghosts

BECAUSE

ghosts only come from restless dead MONSTERS

and chara is the weird special exception

Because they were a monster when they died

They became a ghost and asriel didnt because they were way more restless and stressed than asriel was when both of them died

Like sure, asriel felt awful, but chara was the one who was way more like “this is my fault, i CANT die now, the world NEEDS me”

So anyway

charablook the emo tween ghost and asriel flowey the eldrich goat daisy are siblings once more and they hang out and eventually they are okay and have a family again

Thank you for reading, this has been my thoughts on a crack theory that accidentally went too far

This isnt even everything, maybe i’ll make a part two eventually, but i promised to have this post out like two days ago, so i wanted to post SOMTHING

Anyway leave your thoughts if youd like

Im not looking for people to disprove it, i already know its crazy, i dont think it was intentional by the game writers, but i do think its a fun concept

thats the fun of it, so if anyone wants to run with it im all for it lol

Thanks again! Have a nice day!